Episode 2 - My Name is Konohamaru!

I'll take this oppurtunity to proclaim my love for the opener. (For the record, my favorite opening ever is first season Godannar.)

We open with Naruto getting the picture for his ninja license, complete with bizarre facepaint and dramatic pose. He attempts Sexy Jutsu to persuade the Hokage to use his pic, but aside from provoking the typical Evil Dead-style gusher of a nosebleed from the old guy, gets nowhere. A small child erupts into the room, wearing a scarf and being outdoing Naruto in clumsiness (though to be fair, he's about half Naruto's age, I think). Being exactly the same personality-wise, it's not too long before Naruto smacks him upside the head, apparently the first to ever lay hands on the kid, what everyone being so in awe Konoha on account of his grandpa. Konohamaru wants to be the Fifth Hokage. As does Naruto. CONFLICT! Sort of.

The fourth Hokage died with the Nine-Tailed Fox, so did the Third Hokage come out of retirement? All and sundry are worried about the kid hanging with Naruto, who is not so much a bad seed but a loud, obnoxious-seed. Honorable Grandson attempts to conscript Naruto into teaching him Real Ultimate Power, starting with Sexy Jutsu. At the chance of being called 'boss,' Naruto agrees, as would we all.

Konohamaru attempts Sexy Jutsu by copying a ninja housewife, and the results are about as good as Naruto doing anything aside from that or the clone thing. The attempt backfires, and Naruto gets backfisted. Poor Naruto. Up next is research, by way of the ninja porn store. That fails, so they attempt a bench test of the bathouse, and the true reason for Sexy Jutsu is revealed. As you might have guessed (or I did, at least), Konohamaru is Naruto's situation, except for it being totally the opposite. They bond over ninja soda.

We find out that it was the Fourth Hokage's wish for the village to not be complete dicks to Naruto, the kid who helped save their village. Since the current Hokage ruled nobody could talk about it, that didn't happen, and instead Naruto got cast as town pariah. It was here for the longest time I thought the Third Hokage's kind of a dick, but it's actually the Leaf Villagers who are full of, um, dickery. Moving on. Honorable Grandkid's uptight mentor tries to reason that Naruto's no good for him, and Konohamaru attempts his perfected Sexy Jutsu, but no! Four Eyes is having none of it, so stronger measures are called for.

Shadow Clone Jutsu + Sexy Jutsu = HAREM JUTSU! Brilliant! This raises Four Eye's blood pressure to such heights he's probably even now still in some sort of coma. There's more bonding. Nobody has it as tough as Naruto, although at least he comes through it with two people accepting his existence. A 100% increase! Third Hokage might be impressed. Maybe.