Episode 3 - Sasuke and Sakura: Friends or Foes?

C'mon!

A big day for Naruto, who celebrates with ramen (which probably means every day's a big day for Naruto, judging by how he goes through the stuff). Hey! It's Sakura! Our first character with living parent(s). Fancy gi in your room, Sakura. She meets another newbie kunoichi, Ino, and they rival it up all the way to the classroom, coming down to a photo-finish, but I'm not sure if they have cameras here. Naruto has a crush on Sakura, who returns the favor... for our third main character, Sasuke. Because he's quiet and unfriendly, naturally all the girls want him. He's apparently the top rookie, and Naruto's chief rival for Sakura's affections (from Naruto's viewpoint, anyway). Assorted Ninja mentors comment on Saksuke being awesome and Naruto being trouble. In a pretty hilarious scene, Naruto accidentally steals Sasuke's first kiss and faces a female-heavy lynch mob.

Now, despite graduating Ninja Academy, nobody's actually a ninja yet. Now everybody's a junior ninja, which means being broken down into three-person study groups with an instructor. Naruto gets paired with Sakura and Sasuke, thus giving us a series, as Squad Seven. Sakura gloats to Ino about being Sasuke's study partner. Ino gets stuck a smirky ninja and Bluto from [i]Animal House[/i]. Also, a pale-eyed kunoichi named Hinata actually likes Naruto, apparently. It's about time somebody did around here.

After the expected protests from all involved, they break for lunch. Naruto gets shot down by Sakura. This is perhaps the birth of a [i]theme[/i]. Ino bosses around her squad, which is easy given their winning comination of apathy and compulsive over-eating. They watch Naruto try to take his lovelorn frustrations out on Sasuke, with Naruto apparently coming out the worse for it.
Meanwhile, Sakura's watching her crush stare at her intently from across the way. Her daydream goes a little something like this:

"You... have a charmingly wide forehead. It makes me want to kiss it."
"That's what its surface area is for!"
Classic.

But wait! Is this fantasy coming true? Sasuke flatters Sakura, then asks her about Naruto. Her Naruto stance is unchanged since lunch. It's Sasuke she really wants. She leans in for a kiss with Sasuke and... hey! That's not Sasuke at all! Shadow Clone Jutsu plus, um, turning into a log put one over on Sasuke. Sakura throws herself at Narutosuke, who is all too willing to reciprocate... save for a bout of diahrrea, which interupts the proceedings and I'm sure was probably edited in the US TV version. As we all do, he reflects on a woman's rejection while on the can, and hatches a new scheme. Make Sasuke into a jerk!

The real Sasuke wanders by, and triggers an anti-Naruto spiel from Sakura. She criticizes him for... er, essentially being an orphan, and gets verbally smacked down by Sasuke, who is also an oprhan. Sakura really didn't do very good research, which is unusal for her. Everybody on Squad Seven annoys somebody else. Ew. Naruto didn't wash his hands. Ninja hygiene, people.

Naruto encounters Sasuke outside the washroom, and promptly uses Shadow Clone Jutsu to try and do away with Sasuke for good. D'oh! Bowelus interruptus! That's the kind of force multiplier you don't need. Fortunately, being a raving loon finally dissuades Sasuke from further conflict. Meanwhile, Sakura tries to make an empathy check, and almost does so, though Naruto thinks it's Sasuke in disguise. He's about to Shadow Clone her, when there's another unfortunate call of nature. Poor Naruto. Back in Naruto's room, we get the Third Hokage and a sleepy-eyed jonin named Kakashi finding the route of everyone's problem - spoiled milk. A very funny episode, and I have to admit I'll be interested to see how the three of them get along.